Snow Valley

2024

Action / Comedy / Horror / Mystery / Thriller

3
Rotten Tomatoes Critics - Rotten 50%
Rotten Tomatoes Audience - Spilled 50%
IMDb Rating 2.7/10 10 247 247

Director

Top cast

Cooper van Grootel as Heath Jacobson
720p.WEB 1080p.WEB
690.46 MB
1280*534
English 2.0
NR
23.976 fps
1 hr 15 min
Seeds 31
1.39 GB
1920*800
English 5.1
NR
23.976 fps
1 hr 15 min
Seeds 29

Movie Reviews

Reviewed by dontadow-90363 6 / 10

One of the Best Random Characters ever

I didn't expect much from this movie going in and walked away with something that is for sure going in my Comedy Horror keepers.

It's short little haunted house jaunt that is less about the mystery of the house and more about discovering what the lead male protagonist is really up to.

The camera work and direction are really nice and kept the movie light and breezy. Tight shots kept everything in focus. The director prioritized characters over plot and it does pay off. Everyone played traditional stereotype horror characters and leaned into the cheesiness of the archetypes without going too ham. However, one character takes the cake.

One of those characters really hams it up so professionally I am going to need to see that character in more movies. Not sure who that actor is but he's definately on my radar. When he shows up you'll thank this review for giving you exposure to them.

The setup puts a lot of questions in the air and does a decent job of answering them by the end. Nice entertainment if you're looking for something in the background. The plot isn't tight, but it still comes together.

Reviewed by paul_haakonsen 2 / 10

This was a swing and a miss...

When I stumbled upon this 2024 movie, and seeing Barbara Crampton on the cover, I immediately had to sit down and watch the movie. With it being a horror movie that I had not already seen nor actually heard about, and having the legendary horror icon Barbara Crampton on the cast list definitely had its appeal.

However, writer and director Brandon Murphy delivered a script and storyline that fell short of entertaining me by a mile. This movie was not entertaining at all. The script was incredibly bland and generic, and without anything interesting happening, it was an insanely boring viewing experience to suffer through. Suffice it to say that I didn't stick around for the entire 75 minutes that the movie ran for, because it was simply too boring.

Of the entire cast ensemble, I was actually only familiar with actress Barbara Crampton. It should be noted, though, that the acting performances in the movie were good. The Ed character, which was actually portrayed nicely by actor Tom Williamson, was one of the most annoying and loathsome characters I have seen in a movie for a long, long time.

For a horror/thriller movie then "Snow Valley" was ineffective and not a great pick if you want to sit down and be scared unto the edge of the seat.

This is not a movie that I will return to and attempt finish watching. I just simply didn't care one bit about the mundane storyline, nor for the one-dimensional characters. And not even having Barbara Crampton on the cast list was working in favor of the movie here.

My rating of "Snow Valley" lands on a two out of ten stars.

Reviewed by seven-johnson 1 / 10

When everyone thought I was crazy to design my own board you were there...

Snow board. To design your own is "crazy".

So... we're going to get a serial killer that only uses a butter knife? If that's the extent of "crazy" the "writer"... Ohh, I just don't care, this film's so bad, I'm 5 minutes in and well done to the actors for learning their lines, probably the biggest artistic achievement contained in this attempt at a film.

Liberal use of the demon weed didn't make this anymore enjoyable, it's not a "so bad it's good film", it's a so bad I muted it and watched youtube videos.

I did make it to the end - just, it's easier on mute as you just have to watch the bad acting and lack of "horror".

Is this a PG "horror"?

Anyway, I watched the Guiltless "Dead Eye" video, great song, great band. Interestingly, the video was all AI, something that could have greatly improved the script for Snow Valley.

Next,I listened to "The Black Saint and the Sinner Lady" by Charles Mingus 10/10 and random death metal stuff, the death metal was significantly scarier than the film.

I suppose the one small light that justifies giving this turd a star was the inclusiveness factor, somewhere this film does break new ground by including morbidly (suicidally?) obese "actress" Rachel Michiko Whitney, she waddles round and doesn't die soon enough. Surprised she made it to the end of the film without having a heart attack. Cooper van Grootel has a stupid face - literally, you can tell he's stupid just by looking at him - then he opens his mouth and it's inappropriate for me to mock the learning disabled, but it's definitely part of the inclusiveness aspect.

The director's next project is no doubt "do you want fries with that" followed by "would you like to supersize your meal"? Lol, nope, he's got an upcoming project on here, mybe it's a training video for McDonald's or something, but I wouldn't employ this "person" to do a promo for my local takeaway.

Stinking turd of a film, only worth watching if you need to be angry for any reason.

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