A mediocre story with very inept lawmen. One more than one occasion the lawmen have their weapons pointing at the bad guys (who's weapons are not in hand and in their holsters). Yet, in these instances, the bad guys are able to draw their weapons and get the first shots off before the lawmen can fire. Further, the flowery language is quite stilted and unnatural. This language and the ineptitude of the lawmen makes this movie quite laughable. I watched this movie because of Tom Berenger. Once involved, I wanted to see where it was going. But in the end, it was not worth my time and I would suggest this movie is to be avoided.
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Top cast
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Inept lawmen
I quit watching because I couldn't stand listening
I'm all in for hiring handicapped people but it doesn't work having dead sound effects team. I was so annoyed by the muffled cannon shots where any other movie maker would have had real rifle and gun shots recorded instead. I can't tell you what the last hour and eleven minutes were like because I found something else to watch instead. Maybe if the whole thing was worth watching I would have more than six hundred characters. Your review process is worse than the movie. Maybe if the whole thing was worth watching I would have more than six hundred characters. Your review process is worse than the movie.
An Authentic Looking Horse Opera
Way back when western television shows, like "Gunsmoke," "Bonanza," "The Virginian," "The Big Valley," and "The High Chaparral," ruled prime time, each had occasional episodes where the star would take a leave of absence and let a guest star tangle with the tough guys. If you're a traditional western aficionado, and you cannot get enough of these shows, which have been put out to pasture on broadcast channels like Me TV and INSP TV, then "A Tale of Two Guns," about a lawman tracking down an outlaw, is a frontier fracas aimed at you. "Two Guns" reminded me of those episodes where the guest star fills the hero's boots. Simple, solemn, and straightforward, this authentic looking law & order outing boasts a splendid stable of stars including Tom Berenger, Casper Van Dien, Judd Nelson, and Ed Morrone. These characters spend far too much time talking before they swap lead. Naturally, the formula dictates the villains must miss their targets most of the time. They sling lead as carelessly as if it were confetti. However, when the shootouts erupt, writer & director Justin Lee stages these pyrotechnics with flair. You can marvel at ejected cartridges somersaulting in slow-motion from a rifle and tumbling earthward. Best of all, Lee shows the combatants crouching down behind cover to reload their revolvers, punching out the empties and thumbing in fresh loads. Most big-budget westerns eliminate these reloading scenes because they slacken the action, but Lee uses them effectively to heighten the suspense. Furthermore, the earsplitting gun shots in a standard issue oater sound like banshee shrieks. Instead, the "Two Guns" shootouts sound like giants stomping on thunderous bubble wrap.
"Two Guns" unfolds with a gunfight. Notorious outlaw Able Cruz (Casper Van Dien of "Starship Troopers") and three outlaw allies are the last of the Red Sash Gang. These desperadoes have raped, robbed, and gunned down scores of pioneers during their reign of terror. For the record, the Red Sash cowboys appeared initially in the venerable Kurt Russell/Val Kilmer shoot'em up "Tombstone" (1993), about the tragic Earp-Clanton feud in the 1880s. Abel and company have just awakened from a siesta at a remote outpost in the desert when U. S. Marshall Terence McTeague (Tom Berenger of "Butch & Sundance: The Early Years") and two deputies get the drop on them. Since the gang prefers to fight rather than surrender, McTeague and his deputies exchange gunfire with them. Once the smoke clears, three of Cruz's cohorts lay dead while McTeague has lost both deputies. As Cruz hightails it away on horseback, McTeague draws a bead on him with his rifle. When he squeezes the trigger, McTeague hears the hammer click ominously on empty, and Cruz dwindles into the distance. Embittered by his loss, McTeague realizes for the first time that he has caught a bullet in his right arm. Since he cannot pursue Cruz, this seasoned marshal deputizes a tracker who can ride Cruz down and kill him if the outlaw refuses to give up.
At first, Artemis Hollinger (Ed Morrone of "Apache Junction") baffles McTeague. Artemis doesn't sport a six-gun in a holster tied down to his thigh. Instead, he relies entirely on a long-barreled rifle as his primary weapon. Despite their inherent differences, McTeague believes Artemis can catch and kill Cruz. Before Artemis embarks on his manhunt, a swaggering gunslinger who knows Cruz, Warren Drake (Griff Furst of "Green Lantern"), challenges him to a duel. Artemis leaves this dastard wallowing in the dust with bullets in both arms. Reluctantly, Drake reveals Cruz's whereabouts. McTeague and Artemis are stunned. According to Drake, Cruz plans to buy land and start a ranch near Contention, Arizona. This is the last thing these lawmen imagined Cruz would do.
Clocking in at 91 minutes, "A Tale of Two Guns" ranks as an above average oater. First, the filmmakers don't wear out their welcome. Second, writer & director Justin Lee foreshadows everything but the surprise ending that recalls the Clint Eastwood classic "The Outlaw Josey Wales." Third, the formal sounding dialogue may strike some as stilted. Actually, the John Wayne western "True Grit" (1969) as well as the bestseller it was based on popularized this elaborate style of dialogue. One oddball scene utterly out of place in "Two Guns" features charismatic tough guy actors Jeff Fahey and Danny Trejo as outlaw cronies. They squabble about 'Old' Mexico while Abel grins at their antics. This comic relief scene is the exception to the rule, and it feels more like a flashback. Meantime, Judd Nelson of "The Breakfast Club" appears in a cameo as a land agent who never leaves his desk. Interestingly enough, we never see Tom Berenger sitting tall in the saddle, but Ed Morrone and Casper Van Dien both ride like accomplished equestrians. The title "A Tale of Two Guns" emphasizes the vast difference between the protagonist with his long gun and the antagonist with his six-shooter. Altogether, western enthusiasts itching for some stimulating gunplay, a bit of characterization, and some quotable dialogue may savor this low-budget, but predictable, bullet-riddled sagebrusher.